I recently lunched at Paulaner Brauhaus which bears the pride of being singapore’s only german microbrewery and restaurant and bar for the past 10 years. It is quite a beer institution to visit as they conjure up their brew of potently fresh malt, barley, et al in gigantic, industrial-sized containers ( at level one), while the other two levels are for dining purposes. Okay, but I wasn’t here for the beer – it was for the newly introduced Bavarian ( one of the regions in Germany) ala carte cuisine .

The restaurant is decidedly spacious – it is housed in a separate tower, Time2 @ Millenia Walk – so the entire 3 storeys of the building belongs to them. Taking centrestage is the arresting 2-story high ship mast, filled with intricately-crafted colourful wooden dolls and the classic dark wood teak cupboard and frames add to the authentic rustic charm of a German country side.

And soon, it was time to partake in the table-full of feast

German cuisine is all about pork, pork and more pork. They take their insatiable devotion for the porky pig to another level by featuring them in a plethora of German dishes – almost every dish we savoured had pork as the lead cast. And, it is not a refined or classy cuisine, much of it is served in heartily huge portions, carelessly served and the presentation is rather “rough” and crude – not like those prim & proper style.

We had the quintessential Berlin street fare – their equivalent of hot dogs in American – “Currywyrst” – two porky tubes of Grilled veal sausage slathered with curried tomato sauce on a shower of French fries ( $12.50). It was so addictive – the piquant sauce is so relishing – it is mildly spicy , with a sweet edge. Like Japanese curry with more kick. It tasted something like the Twistee’s Tomato flavoured chips. The fries come dusted with curry power and is perfect for mopping the gorgeous sauce. I wouldn’t mind drinking the sauce!!!! Easily, my favourite German dish.

The Aspic of cured pork knuckle and pickles with vinaigrette and roast potatoes ( $17.50) requires sort of an acquired taste- which does not sit well with me. Cook and cooled home-cured lumps of pork knuckle is made into an agar-jelly with meat stock. The texture is creepily cold and shivered down my throat. The pickles embedded in the jelly slice gave it a sour twist…..thankfully, the golden roasted roast potatoes provides a fluffy base to this jelly…only the potatoes get my vote here

We always save the best for the last – so it is fitting that the Paulender’s Signature darling, Crispy pork knuckle with sauerkraut and bread dumpling ( $28.50), that is on the menu of every self-respecting German restaurant. But, this is the one to beat. The pork knuckle comes in one huge dome – which will look very comfortable on the Flintstones’ dining table – this is one huge hunk of meat. Revamping the recipe, the meat has an outer cove of wafer-crisp crackling, that is teeth-shattering. It is actually quite hard – but it leaves your mouth lingering with the burnt aroma of the roasted pig and under beneath it is plush, dark purple flavourful tender meat. Not really succulent, but still a gamey punch. I thought my hands would crammed in anxiety as I bravely attempted to slice the pork knuckle…ohhh and there is the angelic pairing of the Sauerkraut – Germany’s answer to Kimchi. It is fermented, preserved cabbage that has been boiled and cooled, which gives a sour tangy- perfectly offsetting the unadulterated earthy taste from the pork knuckle. I am a total sucker for such contrasts in taste. and don’t forget the pool of rich pork reductions, dripped during roasting of the pork. The starchy bread dumplings are meant for you to mop them clean.

Desserts always provide the perfect curtain fall for any meal and in this case, I simply want to kiss the finale dessert dish of Caramelised Bavarian Emperor’s pancake with apple plum compote ( $12.50). Nothing like the hotcakes from MacDonald’s, the fluffy pieces here are thick and bread-like – more yeasty and heavier. They are then drizzled with caramel and studded with rum-coated raisins. This is one adrenaline rush straight to the heart.

I think Paulaner Brauhaus is great for a casual night out with drinks set in a very inspirational setting. I am so glad to find out more about German cuisine. At least just more than Pork Knuckles….

There is a reason for the classic pre-Christmas feast prayer – Yes, giving thanks for pulling through the year’s trials and tribulations. Beneath that part of the prayer, there is something more important than cleansing sins committed and make our heart as white as snow. With the would-be ravenous rampage of carnivorous calories galore – lambs, turkeys, chickens and of course, sugar-ladden logs swathed with cellulite-inducing cream. Boy, souls are not the only thing we need to cleanse – our over-exhausted kidneys, stomachs, intestines needs to be asked for atonement. In the name ( read: excuse) of celebrating Christmas, we seek atonement for the sins and just give us gym membership to last till next Christmas. As we hung our heads in guilt-ridden gluttony, Amen and let my 2nd Christmas festive guzzle commence.

The ambience: True be told, the Vanda Ballroom did not impress the socks out of me. The low-ceiling, plain deco and been-there-seen-that decorations made this seemed like a family Christmas party for Auntie Shelley, instead of being built to go all out for an impressive tour-de-force stunt. Strutting across the bare ceilings were eye-pleasing streamers with a centralized bells with gigantic mistletoes ( for the love of food, perhaps). The doors were flanked by two electricity-operated Christmas trees with multi-coloured leaves. How very unoriginal. Too family-like, which makes me wonder where auntie Shelley is? As I tip-toed into the lobby area, outside the Vanda Ballroom, a sight just whet my appetite fully. It was like Goldilocks stumbling upon the house of the three bears, first it was mouth-gapping awe, followed quickly by fascination and then the sin of eating is committed, with such swiftness and absent-mindedness. Sin was freely decked out for the whole world to witness with the dazzling smorgasbord of yuletide yummies. The feast arrived buffet style- which threw the spotlight on traditional favourites (like the ubiquitous turkey) and bold new creations ( turkeys with unimaginable stuffing) which aims to fling the word “ calories” into far-forgotten territory .Amidst those ethereal settings, came a heavy dinner stomping in, like how Santa Claus sliding down the chimneys with loud thuds. Pity the butt crams.

Before the floodgates of hungry tummies were opened, we had to stomach a choir performance of a medley of Christmas carols by the red-capped executive chefs, the hotel “ambassadors” and the Marina Mandarin’s CEO as well. As I listened to them, I was really transported back to the days of last December…ahhh such memories were rudely disrupted by vivacious applause. Oh, it was time for the fork and spoons to spring into action.

The food: When eaten stripped down, turkey tastes much denser than a chicken. It gives me that livery feel – like palate-heavy lumps of meat jammed in my throat. This is why condiments or dressings are the saving grace. Not only it lifts up the stale flood of meatiness, it also serves as platforms for chefs to outshine each other with eccentric combinations.

The Roast Turkey marinated in beer gives new meaning to the term drunken turkey. Doused in beer is the attractively burnished hunky bird which boasts a melding of melting skin and succulent meat. The beer hints the meat with a slightly bitter edge, but not potent enough for beer-lovers to get their alcohol fix. In fact, the beer taste lasted for a few seconds before disappearing into the crowd of fine herb sauce and turkey stuffing.

Another dish had me throw a double glance onto its menu card. The card read: Chocolate flavoured leg of lamb. Yes, choco-land has invaded the turkeys. Chocolate logcakes are so yesterday. Bring out the chocolate lamb.
The gamey treat is sprinkled with a crown of cocoa dust after it is marinated and baked with cocoa ( yet-again) and spices.

By itself, the lamb had this sharp jolt of wasbi pungency like bursting an explosive bag of pepper, engulfing the mouth with warm peppery sensation. I reached for a glass of water to put off those peppery flames. They may want to turn down the spice and pepper level as it bites with an astringent vengeance. Too harsh for the palate! Then I totally forgotten about the chocolate sauce, waiting patiently by the side.

When paired with the subtly sweet chocolate sauce, the pepper, spice, turkey and turkey unites for an angelic harmony. The chocolate sauce conceals the sea of saltiness and smoothen the harsh pepper taste. Chocolates and Turkeys – 2 christmas sins rolled into one.

From the Chinese cuisine station, the stand-outs were the typical dim-sum looking Seafood roll. A mash of crab and fish is heavily garlanded with crispy strings of deep-fried bee hoon. I love how the intensely crunchy capsule contrasts with the velvety fresh seafood and to give an astringent tang is the base of wasabi. Ohlalala..what a delightful finger-food. The other was the Chilli Crab and mini mantou. Never mind the crab finger tasted as if it was bought off the Pasar Malam, but the mini mantou drowned in a pool of chilli crab sauce is lip-smacking.

Enough of the main courses and now it is time to turn on the sugar-levels and get all adrenaline pumped out with desserts and cakes. The usual suspects were the logs galore, cookies houses, mince pies. I supposedly went M.I.A, but was seen suspiciously circling the cream haven for a longer than usual period of time. ( you know how much of a cream-lover I am). After chopping down the logs with my automated mouth, I have to say, deforestation never tasted so sweet.

The crowd-favourite, The King of Fruits Durian log cake was demolished even before I could reach for a slice of it. Thank heavens they dished out a fresh log and oh, it was demolished in a jiffy. Pulpy durians paste is gorgeously pumped in between durian sponge which was blanket by a yellow dress of durian cream. Majestically sinful.

The pandan log cake caused a rippling gasp of excitement in the ballroom, with some proudly trumpeting that it is “simply to-die-for”. Oh that I must cake out. For the fourth time, I fluttered to the desserts booth and saw the pandan log on the verge of extinction. Making it extinct was a creamy dream come through. A log is a long bolster of plush, refreshingly light pandan mousse, studded with brown spot of liqueur fruits. I like how the balsamic and deceptively anemic pandan fuses with the zesty fruits. Good enough to live for, but to die for? I shall reserve that for something more sinful.

The other so-so log cakes guilty of my logging down were the Chocolate Truffle log cake – filled with dense chocolate mousse and rum – it was really toe-curlingly sweet, so sweet that all I wanted was a glass of water and not a second helping. The Ivory chestnut log cake – chestnuts embedded in white chocolate mousse- lacked punch and was a lackluster rendition. The usual suspects – The Blackforest and Hazelnut logs were decent, just like what any respectable patisserie would churn out.

All In All: The traditional Christmas yummies still stand firm but bored. The new creations like Chocolate lamb and Beer turkey were good but not something that I will turn to. Logcakes were head-swingingly good. And if you would excuse me, I need to go somewhere and pray off the calorie-ridden sins.

By now, you would have known that Tea is my favourite part-meal of the day. So imagine my squealing delight when my friend and I went over to the newest addition to the afternoon tea scene in Singapore – COVA Pasticceria - Confetteria. For your information, this happens to be Milan’s oldest cafes with some cake recipes as old as a century years old.

COVA Pasticceria - Confetteria is fittingly located at the “Atas” wing of Paragon Shopping Centre. Very naturally, it attracts mainly Tai-Tais who need to rest their Jimmy Choo-clad feet after hovering around YSL, Prada and Gucci.

The charming café has 2 modes – dramatic and casual. The indoor seating screams elegance and opulence with renaissance-themed, red velvety chairs and coffee tables with intricate cravings. The dramatic centre piece of shimmering chandelier just completes the classy post-card perfect setting.

And oh, how could I miss out the decadently glossy cake counter. The epitome of confectionery sophistication all decked out in glorious light. I stared at the counter dizzily, not knowing where to start. The café has an outdoor seating concept too, if you going for light-hearted gossip over tea session.

Well, we opted for grace and tea-ed in the tea room. Just staring at the room gives me ripples of anticipation.

And to match the cream white setting of the tea room, they have waiters dressed in snazzy smart tuxedoes, topped off with black bow ties. I felt prim and colonial while being served by the white-tux crew. One tiny complaint though, the waiters were rather uncle-looking retirees, like those types digging into Char Kway Teow at People’s Park Complex. I was expecting dark-haired, brooding, James McAvoy-ish waiters with names like Orlando to serve me.

Service was horrid when you are in such an elegant setting. The uncle waiters might be partially blind or maybe they thought we were saying goodbye to them when we wanted to summon them to come to our table.

Classic Set

Since it was impossible to decide what we wanted, my friend and I ordered the Classic Set ( $18) – a single-tiered silver platter of 5 poised finger sandwiches and dainty designer cakes. I was already gagging and my hands reached for the salmon sandwich, which has caviar swipes for a bitter yang to whet my appetite.

The dome-shaped Salami sandwich was a jolt of tongue-twisting saltiness. The cakes were fairly decent – mini morsels of dark chocolate mousse, which chalk bitterness in the creamiest fashion. Each platter consisted of 5 mouth-friendly pastries and sandwiches and obviously, it wasn’t enough. So , we decided to double the pleasure by ordering, yes, another Classic Set. Now, we are thoroughly satisfied.

Presenting The Royal Set

We should have ordered the more value-for-money, Royal Set ( $22) which comes with 9 of Cova’s specialties, from the start.

The tea set also comes with your choice of tea. They serve it authentic English type. Not only it comes with your own tea-pot, you control the amount of tea leaves you put it a ball-shaped tea capsule, which you immerse in hot water. And you stir it and try not to make all sorts of cling-clang noises. I ordered the comforting Peppermint tea while my friend opted for the traditional English Breakfast Tea.

We ended off the dignified tea session with a cozy cuppa of Hot Chocolate – think, indulgent steaming cup of dark chocolate – frothy but totally rich – the perfect way to wash the afternoon long of delights down.

Seriously, with the hefty price tag attached to COVA, it is a little over-rated and priced. It is good for first experience, but I think I rather stick to Canele or Bakerzin for tea.

COVA Pasticceria – Confetteria
Paragon Shopping Centre #01-20A